I sit down on the bed and I am about to cry. Why did I go downstairs without clothes on. I should have expected David to be there. He had dinner with us for most of the time he has been here.
I rest my face in my hands. This is bad.
I get up to get dressed. I have to go downstairs and face David eventually. My black jeans and red tank top will be good enough. Or will it?
I slowly go back to the kitchen. Ben and David are chatting and laughing. I step into the kitchen like nothing happened. And for a moment I think the guys pretend the same too. Till David looks up at me, smiles and says: “That was a great view.”
My cheeks are burning and I give him the stink eye. “Be nice, you dirty old man.” I laugh. His funny, partly dirty comment broke the ice and I relax a bit.
“Next time you let old perverts into our house, warn me please.” I tease Ben while winking to David. We both laugh.
It’s weird how relaxed I feel around Bens’ dad. It’s like I have know him for years.
“David, Ben and I are getting married in October. Any chance you could be back here then?” I ask him. “I will do the best I can and I will bring Joanne too.” he says.
I am already looking forward to meet David’s wife. He spoke a lot about her and I can tell he misses her much, now he is on holiday without her.
“That would be lovely.” I reply.
“I guess we need to make a guest list.” Ben laughs. “As long as I can invite Sara, Lea and Erica. I’m happy.” I smile.
Ben counts on his fingers. “And Inéz, Carlotta, the kids and their parents, Alfonso, Felipe.” He laughs.
“Oh and Aña if she is out of jail by then. But I doubt it.” I continue. “Aren’t you going to invite any family?” Ben asks and I shake my head frantically no.
“No need for family.” I say quickly. Ben looks at me with a frown. I lightly shake my head and he knows that this is not the right moment to discuss this.
“Anyway, it’s going to be a great wedding.” Ben says and hands me a glass of wine. “Have a nice meal my love. And you too dad.”
“What is this?” I ask while I poke at the yellowish dish with unidentifiable white snotty things in it.
“Paella.” Ben replies. “Are you sure?” I poke atthe snotty things again. “And this?” I ask again. “Fish.” Ben replies. “Are you sure about that too?” I frown. “The package said so.” Ben replies.
He stands up and digs through the bin. “Look.” He hands me the box. I check it and it says Paella. So Ben is right. But why does it look so gooey? I poke it again.
“Okay, the box says Paella. What the hell is this then?” I poke the gooey white stuff again and it slips from my plate. “Are you sure it’s dead?” I ask.
Ben sighs and takes a bite. “It’s good Lynn, try it.” Ben says.
I look from David to Ben. David is staring at his plate. His eyebrow slightly raised. But he is not saying anything. Ben takes another bite and after the third I try to take a little bite.
David still hasn’t touched his food and he looks at me.
“It’s actually not that bad.” I say surprised. “Told you so! And don’t look so surprised.” Ben sighs dramatically.
We finish our food and fill up the dishwasher. “I’ll go walk Theo.” David says and leaves us behind.
“I love you Ben, but never ever buy food like this again.” I giggle. Ben glares at me. “So I am not a robot after all. You’ll just have to live with it.”
I snort. “I can live with a person that’s not a robot. But I am not sure if I can live with a person that makes gooey Paella.”
Ben nudges my shoulder. “Be nice.” I turn my head and bite him in his arm. “You taste better than gooey Paella.” I say.
“I‘m going to hear about this for the rest of my life? Am I right?” He asks and I nod. “This will surely end up in a speech at the wedding.” I agree. “If it’s not me, it will certainly be your dad who will say something about Bens’ gooey Paella.”
I can’t stop laughing about my own jokes. “Real cool people don’t laugh at their own jokes.” Ben says.
“Who said I am cool?” I ask.
By the time David returns we are still playfully arguing about Bens‘ bad cooking, and my laughing at my own jokes.
“Not even married yet and already fighting. I wonder how this will end.” David walks into the kitchen with a grin.
Ben and I stop our arguing and I offer David some coffee. Both men go back to the living room while I make coffee for us.
The men are watching a soccer match on TV and I sigh. “What?” Ben asks. “Soccer? Really?” I ask.
“I like soccer.” Ben replies. I shake my head. “I think I will read then.” I grab my book, plop in the love seat and open my book.
Theo snuggles up next to me.
I look at Ben and his dad from time to time. They are watching the soccer match in silence.
I look from David to Ben and back. They are so great together, you can tell they have a great bond. A tear rolls down my cheek. Family bonds can be so amazing.
With the right family.
I stare out of the window. My fingers stroke Theos’ back and my mind starts to wander.
That day, almost 18 months ago. A cold and rainy September night. The night when I introduced Rick to my parents.
That night when they honestly told me their opinion about Rick, which I didn’t want to believe. They told me that Rick wasn’t good enough for me.
My dad who runs a nightclub, knew the look in Ricks’ eyes. He saw all the signs of drug abuse. He saw the signs that it would only be a matter of time till it would go wrong.
I, the silly girl, who had been smacked around the room more than once by then. I lived on a pink cloud and denied everything my parents said. Even though I knew they were right.
I took Rick with me and left my parents house. To never return again.
And now I think it’s too late to call them. Too late to let them know everything that happened. Too late to apologize and to tell them they were right.
I need to start my new life, without my parents. That’s the way things go.
But I miss them terribly.
“Lynn, are you okay?”
I look up and look straight in Bens’ eyes. “Hmm, I think so.” I mumble.
I am sitting in my protective bubble. Knees up to my chest and my arms wrapped around them. I never noticed when I began to sit like this.
“You were very far away with your thoughts.” He says with a frown. I let go of my legs. “I am okay, just thinking about my past.” I say honestly.
David yawns and gets up from the couch. “I think it’s time to walk back to Soñador. I’ll see you youngsters later.”
I jump up from my couch to give him a hug. “Bye David, will we see you tomorrow?” I ask. He shakes his head. “No, I will be borrowing Ericas’ car to drive around and see some of the area. Now, behave.” He laughs.
“Will do dad. Say hi to Erica from us.” Ben says.
We wave at David till he disappears in the dark night.
Ben grabs my hand and squeezes it lightly. “Are you ready for a trip down memory lane?” He asks.
“Not really, but I have to face my demons one day.” I mumble.
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