“Of course he is coming back. He promised.” Alfonso assures me. But it’s hard to believe him at this point. Call me stubborn. Call me stupid. Maybe I am silly. But there is something wrong with Ben.
He is not himself right now. The phone calls are weird and short. We hardly speak about life. I only trying to convince him to tell me when he’s coming back.
The question he is avoiding.
I still can’t believe he is at his dads’ house right now. Why did he not tell me that before. I think if David wasn’t the one to pick up the phone, I would still be unaware.
I try to distract my thoughts and go outside with Alfonso and Aña for a cigarette. I walk back and forth through the prison garden. Aña tries to make me stand still but I keep on walking. I need to clear my head.
I smoke cigarette after cigarette but the thoughts in my head keep running.
It’s a mess in my head.
I can’t seem to sort my thoughts and they are running. I am tired of thinking.
“Alfonso, can you please try to arrange that I can call Ben again. I need to sort things out.” I ask him.
Alfonso shrugs. “Depends on who’s there. If it’s Felipe, you might have a chance.” He replies.
Alfonso tries his best and Felipe gives me five minutes to call Ben.
The phone rings once, twice, three times. Voicemail.
“Ben, I need to talk to you. I am worried. I need you to come back to me. If you aren’t coming back can you please let me know? Ben, I love you.”
I am crying by the time I finish my sentence. And I quickly hang up. Felipe looks at me with the pity in his eyes.
What does he know that I don’t know?
My hand is still on the horn. I squeeze it so hard that my knuckles are turning white. “Give me that Lynn.” Felipe gently takes the horn away from me.
Am I going crazy? What the hell is wrong with me.
I am not in a talking mood and I sit on my bed with my arms around my legs. My protective bubble. I rock back and forth and I finally manage to sort out the thoughts in my head.
Ben will have to pick up his phone sooner or later. And of course he needs his dad to sort everything out. I am sure he’s looking for a way to stay in Europe longer than six months. Because I will be in here for 4 more months.
Of course he will come back to me. It only takes a while. I have to be patient.
Too bad that my head and body do not really like that word.
Two weeks later
Christmas is just around the corner and I convinced the guards to decorate the halls to make it look like Christmas. There are garlands everywhere and there is a mistletoe above every cell door. That’s a prank from Aña and me.
It’s ‘call Ben day’ today. We skipped last Tuesday because he had some important stuff to do.
I dial his phone number and he picks up right away. “HONEY!” He shouts in the phone. “Whoa, what happened to you?” I am surprised to hear Ben so chipper. “I’ve got great news. More than great news.” He says.
I am curious now.
“I am coming back after Christmas.” He chuckles on the other end of the phone. “Really? Are you really coming back so soon?” I ask. And then I think. It’s been over 6 weeks since he left me.
“Where are you.” I ask. “I am still at my dad’s. There was a reason, but I will tell you when I get there. Six more days till I arrive my love. Hang in there.” He laughs.
I can’t believe. Six more days until I am finally able to hug him. Only six more days. I have to spend Christmas without him. But he’ll be here for New Years Eve.
We say goodbye and I dance around the room. Alfonso is keeping an eye on me and raises his eyebrow. “What are you doing?” He asks. “Ben is coming back, Ben is coming back.” I grab Alfonso by his arms and drag him along with my funky dance. “Lynn stop it.” He laughs.
I stop my dance and look at him. “Did you not hear me? Ben is coming back to me in six days.” I am about to grab his arms again but he steps backwards.
“Well, now we all spill our good news and early Christmas presents. I came here to tell you something.”
I look at him. “What?” I ask.
“You will be released early, due to good behavior. February 4th is the date you will be released.” Alfonso smiles at me.
I get to get out of here, two months earlier than I thought.
I reach out to grab Alfonsos’ arms and I dance around the room again. “Six more days till Ben is here and six more weeks till I get out. I guess 6 is my lucky number.” I laugh loudly and continue dancing.
These are the best Christmas presents ever.
I go back to my cell to talk to Aña. “They are releasing me early. And Ben is coming back next Wednesday.” I smile. She gets up from the floor and hugs me. “I knew they would let you go rather sooner than later. They have eyes and they know you wouldn’t do any harm unless you don’t see a way out.”
I have to agree with her. I never thought that I would be capable to kill someone. And there I did it, but only because I feared for my life.
Ben is coming back in six days. Only six nights of sleep. I am more anxious about Ben coming back than about leaving prison in six weeks.
The days pass by slowly. I complain about it to Felipe. “Isn’t it ridiculous. When I want time to go slow, it passes by in a wink. And now I want it to be Wednesday. It’s not happening.” I pout.
Felipe laughs. “Senhora, only two more days and he’ll be here.” He says.
I can’t stop bouncing. I made Ben a Christmas present in the crafting section in prison. I made him a silver bracelet. I can’t wait to give it to him, as a belated Christmas present.
Tonight will be the last time that I call him.
“Graupner.” A voice on the other side of the line sounds. I laugh. “Stealing Ben’s phone again David?” I grin.
“Hey Lynn. No, he is out for a walk. You are calling earlier than you usually do.” David says.
“I do, I usually call when Felipe is here, and his shift ends in 15 minutes. He promised me that I could call Ben till his shift ends.” I explain rapidly to David.
He hums. “So, are you going to take care of my son when he’s there?” He asks.
I laugh. “Well, no, not really.” I reply. “Good girl.” David replies. “Let the boy take care of you.”
“I will do that Mr Graupner.” I say.
“Call me David.” He replies. I promise I will do so next time. “Oh, here is Ben.” David says.
I hear a lot of creaking noises before I hear Ben’s voice. “Hi my love.” He says. “Hi honey.” I reply. “Two more days.” I say. I can’t stop laughing when I think about holding Ben again.
“Are you nervous for the flight?” I ask. “Just a little.” He admits. “But the thought of being with you again makes up for it.”
We say goodbye. And I can’t wait to see him again. To hug him. To love him.
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