Chapter 25 - No More

“Ben.” I stammer.
He looks at me and smiles. “Are you okay? How do you feel?” I ask. Ben does not say anything but raises his thumb a bit and smiles again.

I walk over to the bed and gently hug him and kiss his lips. “You look good for a nearly dead guy.” I joke.

A weird sound is escaping his throat and I am startled. I realize too late that he is laughing.

“It scared you, didn’t it?” I hear the doctor’s voice behind me and I turn around. “Yes, what is it. Why isn’t he talking?” I ask.

“There has been a tube in his throat for more than a week. His throat is sore and raw and it will take him a while to be able to talk like he did. But it will be okay. He did not suffer any severe damage.”

I sigh relieved and turn back to Ben. “It will all be fine Ben, it will.”
He smiles. He tries to say something but shakes his head. “No worries Ben, you will be able to speak soon, just let it rest.” I say and kiss him on his lips.

His lips are dry and his face is rough. He did not shave for over a week and I stroke the little hairs gently. “Shall I shave your face?” I ask and Ben softly nods.

I gently shave his face and he looks better by the minute.

“Don’t leave me.” A soft whisper and I look at Ben. “Did you say that?” I ask and he nods.

“I will not leave you. I promise.” I say and stroke his smooth cheek.

Ben looks at me and I crawl next to him on the bed. He puts his arm around me and I lay my head on his shoulder. “Get well soon, I want to take you out of here.” I say.

A thought crossed my mind.

We are not able to continue our traveling for a while. The doctor said he needs a lot of time to fully recover before we can go out on the road again.

I need to find a place to stay, I can’t stay at Carlotta’s house for weeks.

Maybe I should ask Erica if we can come back to the Bed and Breakfast. I need to face my fears someday.
I haven’t been there since this all happened last week.

I sigh.

It’s only been a week, but it seems like years. The days and nights without Ben by my side. I thought I nearly died.

I can’t leave him. I can’t protect him by leaving him. If Rick wants his revenge, he will get it anyway. Whether I am there or not.

I never noticed that I fell asleep in Bens’ arms. My eyes fly open when the nurse softly shakes my shoulder. “You need to go Señorita.” she says. I get up from the bed, give Ben one last kiss and head back to Carlotta’s house.

The streets are dark and there are not many people on the streets. I quicken my step. And I can feel my heartbeat rise in my ears.

Almost there.

100 meter.

60 meter

I start running when I hear the footsteps behind me

30 meter.

I got my keys ready to open the door. I quickly open it, run inside and close the door with a loud bang.

I’m safe. I am sure I heard footsteps behind me. What if I’d been followed?

I look through the peephole. A empty street.

Is it?

My heard is pounding. I lock the door and turn all the lights on. I sit down on the couch with my legs pulled up and my chin on my knees. I am in my safe bubble now.
No one will reach me here.

I rock back and forth. Waiting for the door to fly open and Rick to step in. But it does not happen.

A soft knock on the door startles me. “Lynn, are you there?” a soft voice asks. “Why is the door locked?” Carlotta asks.
I get up from the couch and open the door to let Carlotta in. “I’m sorry, I thought someone was following me.” So I locked everything.

Carlotta is very understanding as always and gives me a hug. “They will find him chica, they will.” she says. If only I could believe her.

I visit Ben as early as possible the next day. His speech is improving. I ask him what he wants for the future.

“Do you want me to find a place to stay here?” I ask him.

Ben nods.

“We have to postpone our plans to go to Portugal for a while. But do you think you’d be able to stay at Soñador, Erica’s place.” I ask. Ben thinks for a moment and slowly nods his head. He points at me. “I think I can do it, I haven’t been there since that day. But there must be a time to face my fears.” I say.
Ben raises his thumb and gives me a sweet kiss. “Is your throat feeling better?” I ask. “Yes.” he whispers.

I have to go and I kiss him softly on his lips. I long for a real kiss but I don’t dare. I’m afraid I will hurt him.

I sit in the hospital cafetaria and call Erica. And ask her if it would be possible to stay at her place when Ben gets out of the hospital. Till he recovered enough to continue our trip. I can find a job in the mean time to save for the next part of our trip.

I can hear Erica laugh on the other side of the phone. “I would love for you and Ben to come back to the house.” She cheers. “But, don’t you think it will bring back bad memories?” she asks.
“I think so. And to be honest I am very afraid to come back. Especially since Rick still hasn’t been caught. But it’s something I need to do.” I say.

“I can help you find some place else to stay.” Erica offers me. “I know many people around and they will surely help you.”

I think about her offer for a moment. “No, thank you, I need to do this. I can’t keep running away from Rick. And there will be police surveillance around the house as well.”

They are probably trying to make up for what happened, I think bitterly.

I go back up to Bens’ room and tell him the news. He smiles at me and tries to say something.

I shush him. I don’t want him to force his voice. I snuggle up to Ben on the bed and lie there in silence.

We took off so quick and it got faster and faster. I now have time to think about what I want with my life. The only thing I can think of right now, is that I want Rick behind bars.

Locked away, far from Ben and me.