I wake up to Ben singing.
“Good morning baby, I hate to be a bother. You know it’s always hard to do, waking you from your slumber.
The thing is that my feet are kinda cold and it seems you’ve got all of the sheets. And I would be so very much obliged if you would help me warm my feet.”
I look at my feet and I see that I am wrapped up in the sheets and Ben doesn’t have any sheets at all. I look up at Ben, a tear runs down my cheek.
“Did I make you cry?” Ben asks and I shake my head. “Not really. But there were so many times that I hoped Rick would sing this song to me, to let me know he had changed.” I say.
“And here YOU are singing it to me. And I feel bad for stealing all the sheets so you are the one with cold feet now. Thank you for warming mine last night.”
“You were trying to get back at me for being jealous last night. Aren’t you?” Ben ask with a smile.
“Yes, actually I was.” I reply with a grin.
“Get your pretty butt out of the bed, we are going out.” Ben says.
I look at the clock, it’s 10 in the morning. “I am hungry. What if you get me some food while I get ready to go?” I ask Ben, knowing he would not do it. “What if we both get ready and buy some food on our way to La Sagrada Familia?” He replies.
“You will never let me win huh, you stubborn man?” I laugh. Ben shakes his head. “Nope.”
I sigh and get out of the bed. “Shower?” I ask Ben. I feel all sweaty from last night. “Whatever you say miss.” Ben replies and we step into the bathroom to take a shower. It takes Ben and I twenty minutes to get ready.
I am wearing my comfortable clothes today. My black sweatpants, red sweater and my hair in a ponytail. “Is that what you are going to wear today?” Ben asks me and I nod. “I was planning to do so, yes.” I reply.
“Why? Got any plans?” I look at Ben. He is wearing his dark blue jeans and a black shirt.
“No, not really, but I thought it would be nice to wear actual clothes instead of your pajamas.”
I look down at my clothes and shrug. “We’re not visiting the queen or anything.” I say. “What do I have to do to convince you to wear something else?” Ben asks. “Force me.” I tease him.
Ben kneels in front of me and pulls down my pants. “I win.” He says with a smile.
I look at my bare legs and giggle. “Okay, okay. I give in. But can I at least wear my sweater?” I ask. Ben gives in too.
I slip into my boot cut jeans and my sneakers. “Done.” I say. Ben smiles at me. “Now lets go miss.” He says.
We grab a bite to eat on our way to La Sagrada Familia.
I look up at the unfinished church. The same feeling runs over me as the first time I was here. An overwhelming urge to cry.
“You okay?” Ben asks. “Yeah, it’s just the same feeling as before. Love, passion and hurt. All at once.” I reply.
“So, technically the same as when you’re having sex with me.” Ben laughs. I slap his arm. “No.” I say. “Oh, not the hurt, right?” Ben asks.
“Not the passion!” I reply with a grin.
Ben pokes my waist and I twitch. “Not the waist, not the waist.” I laugh.
“Lets go inside.” Ben says. We both agreed not to take the audio tour again. We want to enjoy it in our own way. In our own time.
“You still want to go up there with me?” I point up at the tower. Ben looks up and his face gets pale. “Uhm, yeah, I think so.” He says.
He has second thoughts. I can see it in his eyes. “If you don’t want to go up there, you don’t have to. I don’t mind going alone again.” I say. “Nuh-uh.” Ben says. “I am going with you. No matter what. I want to see the view from up there.”
I shrug. “Whatever suits you. I am not making decisions for you, that you can perfectly make yourself.” I say.
We walk around inside the crypt and Gaudi’s Tomb. When we pass the crossing section in the building we have to choose. “You want to go up or do you want to wait?” I ask.
“Up.” Ben says right away. I am surprised. I really thought he would back out at the last moment.
Afraid of heights and still daring to go all the way to the top of one of the towers. “It’s about 100 meter high.” I tell Ben.
His face gets whiter by the minute. “Are you still sure you want to go?” I ask him again. He slowly nods. “Yeah.”
Ben’s hands are hidden away deep in his pockets, his shoulders pulled up and his face white. I hook my arms around his arm and hold him tight. “You’ll be fine.” I say. “I think so, yes.” Ben says with a soft voice.
I will not tell him again, that he doesn’t have to go up with me. He knows that I would never force him to come up.
We stand in line for the elevator to get us all the way to the top.
It’s not very good for Ben’s nerves that there is a line of 20 people in front of us. It takes us fifteen minutes of waiting time till it’s our turn to get into the elevator.
Ben takes his hand out of his pocket and grabs my hand. “Ouch, Ben.” I say with a painful face. He is squeezing my hand so tight that my hand turns white.
The elevator slowly makes its’ way to the top. You can’t see much from in here, but I know that you can see most of Barcelona once you step outside.
I need to hold Ben. I am afraid he is going to faint.
I still have no idea why he decided to do this in the first place. Afraid of heights and still going all the way up into the towers of La Sagrada Familia. I don’t think I would be that brave.
The elevator stops and the doors slide open slowly. Ben is still holding my hand. His eyes look up at the ceiling. He is not moving and I gently pull him with me outside.
The moment I look around I feel like I’m free. Free from all my troubles and misery. Free from running away. Free from everything that used to go wrong in my life.
It feels like I am able to make a new start from now on. Start all over with my favorite giant.
“Ben, are you okay?” I ask.
His face turned from white to green. “You are not going to throw up are you?” I ask.
Ben slowly shakes his head. “I hope not.” He replies.
Bens’ back is against the wall and he has his eyes shut. “I don’t know if I did the right thing coming up here.” He mumbles.
I hug him tightly and I feel his heartbeat rising. “You’ll be fine. Let’s wait for the elevator and go down again.” I try to convince him.
“No. There is something that I have to do. I just don’t know if I can do it with my eyes open.” He says.
“Well, than do it with your eyes closed.” I grin.
I feel so sorry for him. But it is kinda funny too. Such a big man standing high up on a building with his eyes closed.
“No, I have to look at you.” Ben says with a trembling voice. I look at him when he slowly opens his eyes. He grabs my hands and they are trembling too.
He looks me in the eye. “I have to look straight at you so I won’t pass out.” He says with a faint smile.
“Lynn, there is a reason that I came up here with you. I know how much it means to you to be up here.
I conquered a lot of fears these past months. And most of them were thanks to you. I know we have only been together for seven months. But it has been the best seven months I have ever had.” He says.
I giggle nervously. “Why thank you sir. I had a great time with you too. You want to go down now?” I say.
“No, I am not finished yet. Please Lynn, listen to me and do not interrupt me please.” He says.
I promised to be quiet and wait till he finishes what he wants to say.
Ben is still looking straight at me when he kneels down on one knee. My mouth falls open.
I expected a lot, but not this.
Ben reaches into his pocket. He pulls out a little box. His eyes are still locked on mine. “Lynn. With you I can face all my fears. Will you marry me?”
I look at him with my mouth still open.
7 months together.
4 months of that was spend in jail.
3 weeks of that was spend in the hospital.
But it only takes 1 second to fall in love.
Am I ready to go for it so soon after Rick?
“Uhm…“ I can’t find the right words to say.
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