I get up from the bench and slowly walk towards my house. With every few meters that I come closer, I slow down even more.
I am not sure if I can do this, but I can’t stay outside in my pajamas all day.
Shall I ring the doorbell, or just open the door myself? The first option sounds like the best option right now, coz I don’t know if the girl will be still there.
I ring the bell and it echoes through the night. The quick footsteps on the other side of the door make my heart pound again. I am terrified about the state Rick might be in.
The door opens just a little and I see Rick’s eyes peeking throughout. “Oh, thank God, it’s you. I was worried sick.” he says and opens the door to let me in.
The first thing I do, is look is his eyes, to see the state he’s in. These are the eyes I love, the friendly gorgeous blue eyes. Not the angry dark eyes he had earlier.
I look down and whisper “You hurt me Rick.” A tear slides down my cheek and falls on the floor. “You really hurt me, and for a moment I thought about leaving you for good.” I whisper even softer.
His finger lifts my chin and he looks at me. “I did not mean to hurt you, I’ve been stupid, and I have no idea why I did it.” he says.
“If you want sex, you can just tell me, instead of bringing some other chick home.” my voice breaks and I start sobbing. Rick pulls me close and holds me tight. “I know baby, I know.”
I look up at him. “I love you Rick, I really do, but I don’t know if I can take this much longer, please promise me to stay away from the cocaine, and for good this time. I don’t recognize you when you are in that state. You are not the Rick I fell for.”
Rick looks down and gently kisses my lips. “I promise, I promise I’ll chance, I love you too much to let you go.”
I sigh, relieved and hug him back. “Lets go to bed, I need some sleep.” I mumble. “Why don’t you take a shower first, you need it.” Rick suggests
“No, I just need some sleep” I reply. Rick and I walk up stairs, but instead of letting me into the bedroom, he gently pushes me into the bathroom. “Just take a shower, and I assure you, you’ll feel better.” he demands.
I sigh and give up. I step into the bathroom and turn on the faucets.
I hear Rick talking. “Rick? Did you say anything?” I ask. “No!” he replies back “I was just singing.”
I really thought I heard him talk. And, is that the front door I hear? I listen closely, but I don’t hear anything. It must be my imagination running again.
I turn off the vaults and Rick was right, I feel slightly better, I step out of the bathroom, wearing only a towel around me.
“Hmmm you look so sexy.” Rick growls in my ear, it startled me, because I didn’t hear him approaching me.
I turn around, unwrap the towel and let it fall on the floor. I will show that man, that he doesn’t need other women to have a good time with.
He pulls me closer and I can feel the bulge pressing against my thigh through his boxers.
“I‘m gonna make you happy.” I whisper with my most sexy voice.
Rick growls again and lifts me up. I wrap my legs around his waist and kiss him deeply.
The sun is shining on my face and I turn around towards Rick, but the bed is empty. There is a note on the pillow. “To the park, catch ya later. Love you.” I check my phone and see that it’s already past noon, I also have 10 missed calls and a text. All from Lea
“Call me!” it says.
I do so and she picks up the phone right away. “WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT” she shouts into the phone. I giggle and pull the phone away from my ear. “Shut up dude.” I say as she continues her rant.
“You stood me up with a gorgeous guy, who only wanted to know things about you, and I had no idea what I could or couldn‘t tell him. I don’t know what you want him to know about you.”
“Are you done?” I ask
“NO” she replies “But I don’t know what else to say.
I start laughing. “Long story, maybe I should tell you everything about my life before Rick. To make you understand.”
“I’ll be there in a few minutes.” She replies.
I jump out bed, slip into my sweatpants and my sweater. I quickly look in the mirror to fix my hair and I gasp when I see the bluish stain on my cheek. He hit me harder than I thought. It starts to hurt now I see it. I apply some face powder on it, and it’s less visible now, good enough to face Lea anyway.
The doorbell rings and I run to the door. “Yo” Lea jumps inside and hugs me. “Now tell me all about your past.” she demands.
“Lets sit outside and get some drinks first.” I grin. I am not sure if I am ready to face my past, no matter how great time I had. That time was for suckers.
We plop on the bench in the backyard with our drinks and Lea looks at me. “You’ve got a bruise!” she noticed.
“Ran into the door last night, when I tried to escape my past.” I shrug quickly. “What can I say, I am a klutz”
Back in 2010
“22 years old, happy, free and childish, that was what my life was back then. Working in child care, having the time of my life.
I came across a band by accident, and I fell in love with one of the guys, not like I’ve ever loved someone before.
The chances to ever meet him were slim. The travel costs were way too high, and not a chance they would come to Europe, I always thought the fan base wasn’t big enough.
Till that day in May 2011, when they announced a European tour, 16 dates in 7 countries. I knew from that moment, that I was going to meet the man of my dreams. And I managed to do so. I met the band several times, and by the end of the tour they knew who I was.
After the tour, I loved them even more and more. Tried everything to reach Ben again, hoping for another announcement for a European tour.
They announced to go to Australia, and have a tour through the United states, but still no sign of them coming back to Europe.
And then, July 2012 I met Rick, and he convinced me, that loving a band so badly, is pretty childish, and he made me see that I had to give up on it and build a future with him. Which I did.
I checked them out last week, see what they were doing now, and I found out they split up.
And right after that, I bumped into Ben, and the rest you know.”
Lea was silent all that time, and she looks at me. I sigh and my shoulders hang down. “You still love that guy, don’t you?” she asks. I shrug “He’s not real.” I reply.
“Well he seemed pretty real to me when I spoke to him last night” she replies. I shrug again. “He might be real, but so is Rick, and my love for him.”
“Ben wants to meet you.” Lea says, out of the blue. “And I told him to wait at the Funky Monkey for us to arrive.” she continues.
I feel my cheeks turn red. “No… No.. I can’t go back and meet him. Rick will kill me, I can’t live the dream. Dreams don’t come true.”
“Surely dreams can come true, he’s here, right, No offense and no bad word about Rick, but, apparently Ben is the man you are still dreaming about, and he remembered you after all these years, so you made quite the impression. Just go and meet him, you don’t have anything to lose.”
“I’ll lose Rick” I shrug. But can’t help thinking that that wouldn’t necessarily be a bad thing.
I give in. “Okay, let’s go see Sara at the Funky Monkey.” I say.
Lea smiles widely. “I knew I could convince you” I grab my bicycle and with Lea on the back seat we ride to the Funky Monkey.
“Isn’t it ironic that we are going to meet your Monkey at the Funky Monkey?” Lea grins. “Well the way I remember him, he was the Funky Monkey of the couple, that’s why I went into that coffee shop in the first place, coz it made me think of Ben” I confess.
I am so happy that Lea understands me in this, and convinced me to go meet Ben.
“I throw my bike against the wall, lock it and open the door of the Funky Monkey. “LYNN!” Sara shouts, “There is someone here to see you.” I blush again and look at the direction she points at.
There he is, my favorite monkey man.
I still like him
Do I?
No comments:
Post a Comment