Chapter 11 - Admire you

I don’t know how I get through the night, but I am a wreck when I wake up. I have the feeling I hardly slept. Ben is still holding me tightly and when I look at him, I see he’s fully awake.

“Good morning miss.” he says with a faint smile. “Did you sleep at all?” I ask him. He shrugs. “Just every now and then. Hey, I am a rock star, I can go for days without sleep. As long as there is coffee.” he grins.

“I need to leave.” I say. “I can’t stay here now Rick knows where I am and is threatening to get to me.”

“We’ll get a rental car today and leave.” Ben assures me. “No, you can’t come. I am not going to ruin your trip.” I say with my eyes wide open.

I can’t ask this from him. But I would love to do this trip together with Ben. “No problem at all.” He comforts me. We pack our stuff together, pay the hotel and ask for directions to a car rental.

We find one that has stores all over Europe, so we can rent it there and return it in Paris without any problem. They even add a GPS system to it. Which is a good thing for me, because I suck at reading maps and road signs.

We add Madrid to the GPS and see where it will bring us along the way. I love that Ben is a free spirit like this, I used to be the same. Just randomly drive to new places, without a plan. Like a wildflower.

I think I am in love. And this time, it’s for real.

There are two options. Take the long route to Madrid, all the way across the east coast, or the 6 hour trip through the inlands.

“I want to take the long route.” I smile. We can take our time. Rick is coming to Barcelona, and he will probably not find us when we are on the road.

“I only need to do one more thing.” I tell Ben. I grab my phone, turn it off and toss it in the first bin I see. “Well, one problem solved.” I smile.
Ben grabs my hand and presses a kiss on it. “I’m proud of you.”

We step into the car, Ben insists to drive the first part of our route. And I convince him to stop a lot, so we can be actual tourists.

“How are you holding up?” Ben asks. I smile. “Good, now we’re on the road.”

“First stop: Sitges.” Ben laughs. I grin. “Sounds like a nice place to go.” I open my window and light a cigarette. I inhale deeply and blow the smoke out of the window.
The salty sea wind is making a mess of my hair. I rest my head backwards and place my feet on the dashboard.

This is pure bliss.

I look at Ben. He’s focused on the road, even though there are hardly any cars, he is a responsible driver.
I stare at his face. His profile is as perfect as I remember.

His kissable lips curl into a smile. “Enjoying the view?” he asks. I blush. “Yes, in fact I do.” I keep looking at his face, and he turns his head towards me. “I think it’s time for you to drive, so I can enjoy the view too.” He wiggles his eyebrows and I smack his arm. “Such a dirty little mind.”

We both laugh out loud.

I can’t stop staring at him, and I know he knows that I am looking at him. Every now and then he looks back at me and smiles.

We pass Sitges and we both agree on just moving on to Cambrils. But I refuse to drive past the East coast all the time, because the coast between Sitges and Cambrils is too touristic for me. I want to see the real Spain.

We pass a giant supermarket. We stop to buy some food. The pile of junk food, beer, wine grows bigger and bigger and I laugh. “You can roll me to Seville, if I eat all this.”

I find a rack full of disposable cameras and I toss them in the cart too. Ben looks at them. “What are you planning to do?” he asks. “I tossed out my phone AND forgot my camera, so this is the best I can do now, right?”

Ben agrees. We pay for our stuff and I offer to drive. I can see he’s tired. “You need to rest a bit, you drove for more than two hours and you are very tired. Ben yawns and nods. “Sure.” he says.

I step behind the wheel, start the car and hit the gas. I love to drive, but I never had a car, because it is hardly doable to park in Amsterdam.
This reminds me of my own European road trip 19 months ago, to see a certain band. I traveled around all Europe to see them. “I traveled around Europe like this, that December.” I tell Ben.

“But I prefer to drive when the weather is nice like this.” I confess. Ben wants to know all about my road trip and I tell him everything. How we got lost in Paris, nearly drowned on the road on our way to Frankfurt and how we took a massive detour through nearly all of Belgium to get to Lille.

Ben laughs at my stories. “Glad you made it safe to every show.” He yawns. ‘Was I that boring?” I tease.
“Nah, I am just extremely tired. There was a gorgeous girl in my arms last night, so I couldn’t sleep.” He jokes.

I feel my cheeks burning and my heartbeat rising. “Don’t say things like that, it might cause accidents.” I tease.

We fall silent and when I look at him a few minutes later, he’s asleep. I want to pull over the car so I can stare at him when he sleeps, but I know I can’t. But I do manage to take a picture of my favorite sleeping giant.

The landscape is perfect, the sun is high up in the sky, and I am driving for over 30 minutes without passing a single soul.
I pass a grassy area full of poppies in the middle of nowhere. I steer the car to the side of the road and park the car.
I want to run through the field, sit down in the tall grass. Take some time to feel the Spanish sun on my face. Just because I can.

Ben wakes up, the moment I step out of the car. “Where are you going?“ He asks with a sleepy voice. “I just want to feel the grass, enjoy the silence and be here, with only you and my dreams.” The last part of the sentence is said in a whisper, but Ben has great ears.

“You want to be alone, with me, in the middle of nowhere?” He repeats. I bend my head and nod slowly. “Yes.” I whisper even softer.

Two strong arms grab me around my waist. “I thought you’d never say this.” Ben lifts me up and his one hand lifts my chin. “Look at me.” Ben demands. I look up and Ben bows his head. I feel his soft lips on mine and I feel a rush down my spine. The butterflies are having a party in my tummy, they are fluttering around like crazy.

His tongue slowly finds his way towards mine and I open my mouth a little to let him in.
This is what a true loves kiss must be like. I am on fire and I wish we never have to stop.

Ben pulls back with a wide smile on his face. I smile back at him. Not in need for words.
I reach up and touch his face with both my hands. “You are damn real.” I grin.

He lifts me up and twirls me around. “I wanted to kiss you since I bumped into you in Amsterdam.” he declares. I grin. “I wanted to do that, since the first time I saw you introduce yourself as Mark Twain. 3 years ago, so I guess I win.”

“Can I do it again?” Ben asks sweetly. I lift my face towards him and he bends over to press his lips on mine again.

I smile against his mouth. “What?” Ben pulls back. “Nothing, I think I am happy.”
I pull his head back down for another kiss. He sure knows what he’s doing. I gently bite in his bottom lip, causing him to moan a little.
“You know, I can do this for hours.” I confess.

“So do I. Do you want to stay here? Or shall we drive further?” he asks.

“Can we just lay here for a while? Enjoy this bubble I wish I could live in forever?” I ask.

“Sure.” Ben agrees.

I lay down on the grass and so does Ben. I rest my head on his belly and look up to the sky. Occasionally kissing Ben. But mostly enjoying the peace, the birds in the sky, the funny shaped clouds, the touch of Ben’s hand stroking my arm, the wind through my hair and the tall grass that’s tickling the naked skin of my arms and legs.

So, this must be what happiness feels like.