We pass olive tree fields, cornflower fields and poppy fields, I look at them without saying a thing.
It’s a long drive over dirty roads. Ben is holding my hand. My other hand loosely out the window. We listen to the radio, softly singing along.
I feel happy and sad at the same time, and I see the kilometers drop by the minute.
560, 550, 540 only 530 km till Seville.
“Ben, can you pull over, please?” I ask. Ben looks at me. “What’s wrong baby?” He asks.
“I think I need to throw up.” I stumble out of the car and sit down on the side of the road with my head between my knees. I really don’t feel good. But I don’t think it’s the concussion, it’s the thought of Ben leaving me within a few days.
I choke back the tears and I want to scream.
Wasn’t it my own decision to stop in Seville.
Is it too late to change my mind?
I must be able to live on my own. I did it for years before Rick. Though this is different. This is so far away from everyone and without Ben around me.
But there must be new nice people to meet. Make some new friends, maybe I will even meet a nice guy.
Lynn, this is what you wanted. Starting a new life in Seville. I say to myself.
What if Rick finds me there. He will find me there. I open my eyes in shock. “Ben, I can’t stay in Seville. Rick will find me and kill me.” I gasp
Ben kneels next to me and strokes the hair from my face. “We will go to the police in Seville, and make sure they’ll get him if he arrives.” Ben wraps his strong arms around me and holds me tight.
“Feeling better yet?” Ben asks. I nod and we continue our way.
“Lynn, you changed because of Rick. Then you turned into your old self. You changed again two days ago, when he beat you up. But, is there any chance that I can make you smile today? Don’t let him get you.” Ben asks.
I scream loudly inside. From the outside my face is a mask. I know I changed. I don’t want to change into a bad version of me again. But, somehow with the shit Rick caused, and Bens’ leaving within a view days. I can’t do anything else but feeling sorry for myself.
I bite my lip. I don’t want to cry.
A lonely tear drips down my face.
Okay, now I am crying.
Ben squeezes my hand and our fingers intertwine. “What do I have to do to make you laugh again?” He asks. I shake my head. “I don’t know. I wish I knew.”
I know. Deep down inside I know the answer. I know how he can make me smile. To ask me to come with him to Portugal. Or to say that he stays with me in Seville.
We drive on a small road through the mountains. The sun is shining bright and I feel like we’re all alone on the earth. We haven’t seen a single soul for hours. We pass a little parking lot. And Ben parks the car. “I need to stretch my legs for a moment.” he says.
I step out too and sit down on the grassy area at the other side of the parking lot. I see the most amazing view and I jump back up to grab my camera. “Ben, come see this.” I say.
Ben walks over to me and stands behind me, his hands around me and his chin rests on my head. “It’s gorgeous out here.” he hums.
I lean back against his chest and he pulls me closer. We both stare in the distance without saying anything.
We stand there for minutes. I drown in the silence and the peacefulness.
I am starting to feel dizzy and we get back in the car. We need to find a town to spend the night.
We pass a town, but only has a few houses, nothing more. We continue our way to find a town big enough to have a hotel.
It takes us nearly an hour drive to find a little city in the middle of nowhere. There is no hotel but there is a little bed and breakfast with available rooms.
“Soñador.” The name on the house says. Ben translates it for me. “Dreamer.” He smiles.
We ring the bell and introduce us to the woman who opens the door. “Hello I am Erica.” she says in perfect English. “Hi, I am Ben, and this is my girlfriend Lynn, we are looking for a place to stay a few nights.” Ben says.
“Be welcome in my humble house.” Erica smiles and opens the door for us. She shows us around. And we come to know that we are only 10 kilometer away from Seville.
That’s when it hit me even harder than before. Ben will nearly leave me. Two days together, maybe a bit more.
I need to make the best of it. So he will remember me forever.
We drop our stuff in the room, and I walk back to Erica, who’s in the kitchen. “Hi Erica, can I do anything to help?” I ask. “Sure, you can cut the peppers if you want. She hands me three bell peppers and a knife and I start to cut them. “Where is your boyfriend.” Erica asks. “He went for a shower and a walk.” I reply. “Is everything okay between you.” She asks while pointing at my bruised face.
“Oh, you think that Ben….no! Ben would never hurt me. I ran into my ex boyfriend.” I say quickly. No one should ever think that Ben would beat me up. “He’s the one he saved me.” I say.
I start rambling, and I tell Erica everything. Even about my love for the band. It’s like I know her for years.
She lets me tell my story, but gently take away the knife away from me when I start to molest the bell peppers with it. When I tell about Rick in Madrid. And she hands me a tissue when I start to tell about my fear of losing Ben when he goes to Portugal and I stay in Seville.
“Now, sit down and have a drink with me.” She says and guides me to a table. She opens the fridge and pulls out a pitcher of Sangria and pours me a glass.
I take a sip and look at her.
“First of all, you should tell Ben what you feel. And it doesn’t matter if you want to stay in Seville or not. You might find out when you talk to him about it. You don’t have anything to lose.” She says.
“I don’t think I have enough money with me to continue the trip with Ben, I really need a job, and save more money, so I can continue traveling. And maybe I will see Ben along the road again.” I shrug.
“How much money do you have left?” Erica asks. “About 1500 Euro.” I reply.
“That’s more than enough to get to Lisbon.” She replies. “But what about working in Seville for a few weeks, and than continue your way to Portugal with Ben.” She asks.
I look thoughtful at her. “I don’t know if Ben has the time to stay at one place for a while.” I shrug.
And besides that, who wants to hire me for only a few weeks.
I let it rest for a while and drink my Sangria. “I think you will find out what you want.” Erica says. “But please talk to Ben about this and see what his thoughts are. You might know you think you know what he want’s but you don’t if you don’t ask him.”
“Thank you Erica.” I hug her and head to the door to go back to my room when I think of something. “Erica, how did you learn English this well?” I ask.
She smiles at me. “I was a teacher in England before I moved here. And made my dream of having a own Bed and Breakfast come true.” She replies.
I smile.
Dreams DO come true.
Now it’s my turn to make them happen.
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