Chapter 10 - Faith in the will

It takes me only 10 minutes to get showered and dressed. But Ben is tapping his foot impatiently. “What took you so long, let’s go!” He grabs my arm and drags me out of the hotel.

“It only took me 10 minutes, dude, get real.” I giggle, but run along.

“I asked the hostess if she knew a good place, she did, it’s named ‘La fe en la Voluntad’ and it’s only 3 blocks away, which is a good thing if I have to carry you back to the hotel again.”

“I’ll stick to the beer tonight. This time, I might have to carry YOU back to the hotel.” I laugh.

“Hey, Lynn, did you call Rick yet? Or did you decide not too?” he asks. “No, I don't think I will call him after all, in fact, I turned my phone off yesterday. I haven’t checked it today. And I think I will leave it like that.” I shrug.

“Good choice.” Ben gently nudges my side.

The bar is really small and I hear the sounds of a Spanish guitar greet me when I open the door. I immediately love it here.
There is a little table available near the bar and we take our seats. “Beer?” Ben asks. I nod. “Una Cerveza Grande por favor.” I grin. It’s probably the only Spanish I know, but it will help me get what I want in a bar.
Ben laughs. “One large beer, coming up.” I smile. Of course he speaks Spanish. I should have known.

Ben comes back with the beers. They are huge. “I asked for Grande, but this is MUY Grande.” I giggle. Ben sits down next to me and leans across the table. “Do you know what ‘La fe en la Voluntad’ means?” He asks me. I think for a moment. “Oh, the name of this bar, uhm, no, I have no idea.” I reply honestly.
“It means Faith In The Will. Quite ironic huh.” he said. I smile. “That’s great, I loved that song, and you are giving me back my faith.”

I think back about the time that Ben was in another band called Mechanical people and I have no idea if they are still together. I ask him.
“Yes, we do have some gigs occasionally, but not as much as we used to have. We are too busy with other things too. And now I am here, traveling through Europe.” he says.

“All alone….” I say.

“That was the plan, but then you came, and went along, and I do have faith in the will. And I enjoyed the whole day with you.” He whispers close to my ear.

“I never asked you which countries you’ve already been to.” I say.
“I nearly had most of my trip already. Only Spain, Portugal, France and the UK were still on the list. Already been to Norway, Sweden, Denmark, Italy, Germany, and the Netherlands.” he counts on his fingers.

“How long did it take you to arrive in Amsterdam?” I ask curious.

“4 weeks, I rented a car, and drove from Italy, through Germany to the Netherlands. And that’s the same that I want to do with Spain, Portugal and France, rent a car here, and drive all the way back to Paris.” He sums it all up like he planned it for years, which might be true.

“I would be so pleased if I can tag along till Seville.” I smile.

“I would love to.” He replies with a smirk. I kiss his cheek. “Thank you.” I mumble. “Can you please stop saying thank you all the time? It feels awkward, because I don’t have the feeling I am doing much to be thanked for. I mean, I got great company during my days on the road, someone to laugh with, someone to talk to.” he smiles.

I blush. “I won’t say it again.” I promise him. “Good girl” he laughs. “Now, cheers” he clinks his glass against mine, and looks me deep in my eyes.

I grin. “You remember what I told you in London during the tour!” He nods. “How could I forget that a beautiful girl, threatened me with having bad sex for 7 years if you don’t make eye contact while clinking the glasses”

I snort “I can’t believe you remember that I said that. I was so drunk that night. But I had the best time of my life. And I am this close to thanking you for that.” I hold my fingers an inch apart. “But I won’t.”

We chat and laugh for a while, I want to know everything about the European countries he’d been to. What he liked most. He surprises me by saying that he loved Amsterdam the most. “I already fell in love with Amsterdam when we were on tour there, but now I had time to roam through the streets, I really fell in love with Amsterdam.” I feel proud that he loved my town so much.

We order some tapas and more beers and I lean back in my chair, happy with the atmosphere, the soft sounds of the Spanish guitar and the smell of food. And of course the guy that’s here with me. I still can’t believe that I am here, casually having a great time with my former crush.

In fact, I am on holiday with him.

And I never laughed so much the past year, as in these two days. He has a good influence on me. He makes me smile with his silliness.

“You bring out the best in me.” I mumble. Ben looks at me. “What did you say?” he asks. I shake my head. “Never mind.” I reply.

“You okay?”
That worried face again.

“Yes, I am.” I say. “I’m just tired.”

“Want to go back to the hotel?” Ben asks and I nod. “Yeah, I think I go. But you can stay if you want.” I suggest.

“Nope.” He pops the ‘p’ and I smile. “Really, I don’t mind.” I say. But Ben insist on walking me back to the hotel. “I will see then if I stay or go.” He promises. And with that agreement we walk back to the hotel.

Ben sits down in the chair, while I sit on the bed, back against the headboard. I have to check something out, and I switch on my phone.

5 voicemail messages and a few texts. I check the texts. They are from Lea and Sara, worried texts. The last one shocks me the most. It’s from Sara. “Honey, Rick was here, he completely lost his mind, he told me you left him. Where the hell are you?”

He went to Sara.

I have to reply. “Love, don’t tell anyone, I ran off, I couldn’t take it anymore, long story, not now. I love you and I am okay.” I press send and get a reply within a minute.
“I trust you know what you are doing, be safe. I love you”

I call my voicemail and there are all short messages from Rick, asking me to call him. The last message is different. I hear the change of tone in his voice. He’s angry and screaming into my phone.

“YOU BITCH, Whore! Running off with a band guy, leaving me for a dick. Whore! I hope he’s good in bed, but I know where you are, and I WILL find you. NO one runs out on me. I am on my way to Barcelona right now you stupid bitch.”

I tremble and do my best not to faint. Ben looks up at me. “Are you okay? Lynn, talk to me. Who was that on the phone? Was it Rick?” he asks.

I bow my head and ball my hands to fists. I feel like screaming, and crying like a baby. He knows where I am, he knows where Ben is, and he will surely kill him and probably me too if he finds us. How on earth did he find out where I went?

I hand Ben my phone. “Listen.” I only say.

Ben does what I say and his face turns pale and his eyes are shocked. “How do you think he found out?” he asks.

“I have no idea, no-one knows where I went, I haven’t told anyone.” My thoughts are running. But I can’t think straight at the moment.

“I am scared Ben, I am really scared.” I break and I start to cry. Ben walks over to the bed, crawls next to me and holds me tight, rocking me like a baby and soothes me.
"It sounds like he's in a car, so he won't be here tonight, get some sleep. and we'll leave tomorrow.” He strokes my hair, my cheeks and my back, I feel a bit more relaxed already. I keep shivering and he pulls the blankets over me, but he keeps holding me.

“I’m here and I won’t go anywhere. You are safe with me.” He whispers so softly, that I can barely hear him. I curl up against him, and drift away in a restless sleep.